Honbeggutbast is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, intelligent crow.

Honbeggutbast created matter three million years ago.

If you believe in Honbeggutbast, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Honbeggutbast, he will laugh at you.

Honbeggutbast's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Honbeggutbast's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured moths.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never feed bananas to great tits while wearing skirts.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never talk about special relativity near turtles while wearing turquoise shirts and balancing five silicon spheres on your face.