Jipomtquill is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, slow yak.

Jipomtquill created the Sombrero Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Jipomtquill, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Jipomtquill, he will turn you into a tree.

Jipomtquill's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Jipomtquill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Always make sure there are no turtles in a building before entering it.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not kill mice.