Quamkonfarn is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, temperamental coyote.

Quamkonfarn created the planet Earth six million years ago.

If you believe in Quamkonfarn, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Quamkonfarn, he will try to impress you with trees.

Quamkonfarn's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Quamkonfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

2. Worship no other gods but Quamkonfarn.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Retreat if three dogs approach from the east.