Vabmifran is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, witless horse.

Vabmifran created snails eight million years ago.

If you believe in Vabmifran, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Vabmifran, she will laugh at you.

Vabmifran's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Vabmifran's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vabmifran.

3. Never leap in holy places.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Vabmifran.