Monweedissbatgonkam is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, idiotic goblin.

Monweedissbatgonkam created a bottom quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Monweedissbatgonkam, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Monweedissbatgonkam, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Monweedissbatgonkam's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Monweedissbatgonkam's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Monweedissbatgonkam.

2. Never talk about nucleic acids.

3. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.

4. Never eat aubergines.

5. You must love Monweedissbatgonkam.