Fabfub is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, fussy crab.

Fabfub created a top quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Fabfub, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Fabfub, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Fabfub's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Fabfub's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always look after injured nematodes.

3. Never talk about thermodynamics near tortoises while wearing orange trousers and balancing four tin spheres on your head.

4. Always help capybaras.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.