Boplimflab is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, almighty snake.

Boplimflab created humanity nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Boplimflab, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Boplimflab, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Boplimflab's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Boplimflab's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate capybaras.

2. Never think about dark energy near otters while wearing mauve trousers and balancing eight carbon spheres on your chest.

3. Do not keep four manatees in a large pit.

4. Run away from gray birds, for they are unholy.

5. Do not commit murder.