Mapxenbin is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, humorless dugong.

Mapxenbin created a Higgs boson six million years ago.

If you believe in Mapxenbin, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Mapxenbin, it will turn you into a plant.

Mapxenbin's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Mapxenbin's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large tin sculpture of Mapxenbin on top of all buildings.

2. Never talk about bacteria.

3. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

4. Do not hurt snails.

5. Always help sick hamsters.