Tailxucmonmotfedyargumshav is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, grumpy giraffe.

Tailxucmonmotfedyargumshav created the Small Magellanic Cloud six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tailxucmonmotfedyargumshav, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tailxucmonmotfedyargumshav, he will turn you into a frog.

Tailxucmonmotfedyargumshav's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Tailxucmonmotfedyargumshav's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at comets.

2. Tailxucmonmotfedyargumshav loves turtles, so they must be respected.

3. Do not kill swans.

4. Never think about enzymes.

5. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Tailxucmonmotfedyargumshav in the centre of the settlement.