Fubxenkop is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, merciless owl.

Fubxenkop created a quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fubxenkop, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fubxenkop, she will refuse to believe in you.

Fubxenkop's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Fubxenkop's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never hurt bats.

3. Always obey Fubxenkop's priests.

4. Never mention birds.

5. Always help grasshopers.