Laplarghig is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, omnipotent sheep.

Laplarghig created a strange quark four years ago.

If you believe in Laplarghig, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Laplarghig, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Laplarghig's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Laplarghig's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention mice.

2. Run away if six pigs approach from the south.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

4. Never feed peas to cats while wearing black boots.

5. Do not dye your hair indigo.