Ditfonjangessxucktig is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, generous fairy.

Ditfonjangessxucktig created the planet Earth three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ditfonjangessxucktig, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Ditfonjangessxucktig, he will manifest in front of you.

Ditfonjangessxucktig's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Ditfonjangessxucktig's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry bats.

2. Do not dye your hair gray.

3. Do not shave your legs.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never eat green fruit.