Dissquimster is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, merciful warg.

Dissquimster created time and space nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dissquimster, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dissquimster, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Dissquimster's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Dissquimster's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Erect a giant violet sculpture of Dissquimster in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never leap in holy places.

4. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always take life seriously.