Bimwonzag is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, quiet scorpion.

Bimwonzag created the planet Saturn four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bimwonzag, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bimwonzag, he will turn you into a rat.

Bimwonzag's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Bimwonzag's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about ultrasonics near monkeys while wearing indigo dresses and balancing three silver spheres on your neck.

2. Never talk about chromosomes.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not laugh in public.