Gubgid is a god.

He takes the form of a small, cheerful horse.

Gubgid created dark energy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gubgid, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gubgid, he will turn you into a rat.

Gubgid's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Gubgid's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat pineapples.

2. Never talk about amino acids.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Learn four new languages a year.