Tambaptal is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, sapient unicorn.

Tambaptal created an up quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tambaptal, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tambaptal, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Tambaptal's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Tambaptal's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never paint your arms green.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never play with disobedient children.