Larnganvonkgatfutomtcisscap is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, dishonest cobra.

Larnganvonkgatfutomtcisscap created viruses eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larnganvonkgatfutomtcisscap, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Larnganvonkgatfutomtcisscap, she will curse you with boils.

Larnganvonkgatfutomtcisscap's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Larnganvonkgatfutomtcisscap's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five tin sculptures of Larnganvonkgatfutomtcisscap on top of important buildings.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always make sure there are no gulls in a room before entering it.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never chant near tortoises.