Daplagaf is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, loving hippopotamus.

Daplagaf created dark energy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Daplagaf, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Daplagaf, she will boil you in a big pot.

Daplagaf's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Daplagaf's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate bats.

2. Daplagaf must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always help ducks.

5. Do not stand on grass.