Tettisandspag is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, moody pigeon.

Tettisandspag created the Virgo Supercluster nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tettisandspag, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tettisandspag, it will turn you into a mole.

Tettisandspag's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Tettisandspag's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured grasshopers.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not shave your neck.

4. Never think ill of sick moths.

5. Tettisandspag loves turtles, so they must be honoured.