Honmumkem is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, boastful donkey.

Honmumkem created everything that exists four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Honmumkem, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Honmumkem, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Honmumkem's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Honmumkem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about oranges.

2. Always help snakes in need.

3. Run away from pink great tits, for they are unholy.

4. Honmumkem loves badgers, so they must be respected.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.