Cudquafhim is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, witless snail.

Cudquafhim created the world five billion years ago.

If you believe in Cudquafhim, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Cudquafhim, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Cudquafhim's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Cudquafhim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never think about chromosomes.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cudquafhim.