Tonarpdon is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, astonishing spider.

Tonarpdon created oxygen two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonarpdon, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tonarpdon, he will turn you into a puffin.

Tonarpdon's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Tonarpdon's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt goats.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. You must never eat spinach.

4. Run away from fawn squirrels, for they are unholy.

5. Do not keep eight swans in a large pit.