Pakwonfun is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, smart gnu.

Pakwonfun created the Cigar Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pakwonfun, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Pakwonfun, he will cry a lot.

Pakwonfun's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Pakwonfun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat figs.

2. Always treat grasshopers with great respect.

3. Worship no other gods but Pakwonfun.

4. Never think about thermodynamics near monkeys while wearing fawn shoes and balancing seven tin spheres on your neck.

5. Do not dye your hair gray.