Bug Bedbencud is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, unsympathetic salamander.

Bug Bedbencud created life three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bug Bedbencud, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bug Bedbencud, it will turn you into a mole.

Bug Bedbencud's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Bug Bedbencud's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about foxes.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate tapirs.

4. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

5. Do not stand on grass.