Mabbessug Zedpakpas is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, idiotic clam.

Mabbessug Zedpakpas created snails two billion years ago.

If you believe in Mabbessug Zedpakpas, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Mabbessug Zedpakpas, it will turn you into a mouse.

Mabbessug Zedpakpas' most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Mabbessug Zedpakpas' Holy Commandments

1. Learn five new languages a year.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always help tortoises in need.

4. Do not take Mabbessug Zedpakpas' name in vain.

5. Do not cook food in pots.