Quaglimman is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, kind beaver.

Quaglimman created the universe eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quaglimman, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quaglimman, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Quaglimman's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Quaglimman's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never feed aubergines to otters while wearing kilts.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate manatees.