Gumquatcep is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, awe-inspiring yak.

Gumquatcep created a Higgs boson five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gumquatcep, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gumquatcep, she will destroy your home solar system.

Gumquatcep's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Gumquatcep's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Gumquatcep in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not kill pigs.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Do not speak about peas.

5. Respect your elders.