Timtitruldonmonsawcar is a god.

He takes the form of a small, astonishing yak.

Timtitruldonmonsawcar created a down quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Timtitruldonmonsawcar, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Timtitruldonmonsawcar, he will strike you with lightening.

Timtitruldonmonsawcar's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Timtitruldonmonsawcar's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest blue.

2. Retreat if five shrews approach from the north.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not speak about nuts.

5. Feed all hungry aardvarks.