Nulvonk is a god.
He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, ill-tempered
swan.
Nulvonk created Asia two thousand years ago.
If you believe in
Nulvonk, he will smite all your enemies.
If you do not believe in
Nulvonk, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.
Nulvonk's most sacred site is Wukan in China.
Nulvonk's Holy Commandments1. Always pray immersed in water.
2. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Nulvonk on top of all buildings.
3. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.
4. Do not kill squirrels.
5. Do not take Nulvonk's name in vain.