Kenstipxen is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, moody lobster.

Kenstipxen created Asia five million years ago.

If you believe in Kenstipxen, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kenstipxen, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Kenstipxen's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Kenstipxen's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt bats.

2. Always make sure there are no goats in a building before entering it.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not speak about melons.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.