Armbencim is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, passionate giraffe.

Armbencim created silver six million years ago.

If you believe in Armbencim, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Armbencim, it will manifest in front of you.

Armbencim's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Armbencim's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics near horses while wearing fawn shoes and balancing eight nickel spheres on your feet.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never talk about electromagnetism near aardvarks while wearing mauve coats.

4. Never eat grapes.

5. Never paint your arms indigo.