Armwitdon is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, clever finch.

Armwitdon created a down quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Armwitdon, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Armwitdon, she will curse you with boils.

Armwitdon's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Armwitdon's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear scarves.

2. Always help capybaras in need.

3. Do not wear silicon on your body.

4. Do not take Armwitdon's name in vain.

5. You must never eat bananas.