Betlopgam is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, idiotic slug.

Betlopgam created everything that exists seven million years ago.

If you believe in Betlopgam, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Betlopgam, it will turn you into a plant.

Betlopgam's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Betlopgam's Holy Commandments

1. Voles are not to be trusted.

2. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Always look after injured doves.

4. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Learn nine new languages a year.