Lapfitwatkarjintailgenquill is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, unjust bat.

Lapfitwatkarjintailgenquill created the planet Mars four million years ago.

If you believe in Lapfitwatkarjintailgenquill, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Lapfitwatkarjintailgenquill, he will have a low opinion of you.

Lapfitwatkarjintailgenquill's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Lapfitwatkarjintailgenquill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair fawn.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Always treat manatees with great respect.

5. Do not covet oxen.