Cinkaplad is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, temperamental ant.

Cinkaplad created an electron nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cinkaplad, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Cinkaplad, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Cinkaplad's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Cinkaplad's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five platinum sculptures of Cinkaplad on top of important buildings.

2. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never talk about quantum gravity near otters while wearing mauve tights and balancing seven silver spheres on your arms.

5. Always wear white.