Govfodjan is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, benevolent scorpion.

Govfodjan created an up quark four years ago.

If you believe in Govfodjan, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Govfodjan, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Govfodjan's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Govfodjan's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from cyan aardvarks for they are unholy.

2. Never think about quantum gravity near frogs while wearing red shirts and balancing eight titanium spheres on your legs.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate manatees.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never feed garlic to whales while wearing shoes.