Hapgadneg is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, omnipotent cow.

Hapgadneg created the planet Earth four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hapgadneg, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Hapgadneg, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Hapgadneg's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Hapgadneg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not keep eight horses in a large pit.

3. Always help grasshopers.

4. Erect six gold sculptures of Hapgadneg on top of important buildings.

5. Do not listen to music.