Hamfosspag is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, unsympathetic unicorn.

Hamfosspag created oxygen seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hamfosspag, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Hamfosspag, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Hamfosspag's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Hamfosspag's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity.

2. Never talk about geese.

3. Run away from blue hamsters, for they are unholy.

4. Feed all hungry pigs.

5. Do not make images of living things.