Yoklimpig is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, witty fairy.

Yoklimpig created the solar system three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yoklimpig, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Yoklimpig, it will be mildly annoyed.

Yoklimpig's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Yoklimpig's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat garlic.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Run away if nine ducks approach from the east.

4. Never think ill of sick great tits.

5. Always look after injured moths.