Hitpadsak is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, witty bee.

Hitpadsak created time and space two billion years ago.

If you believe in Hitpadsak, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Hitpadsak, he will torture you forever.

Hitpadsak's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Hitpadsak's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention eagles.

2. Always help mice.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

5. Do not shave your back.