Abliplag is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, awesome chicken.

Abliplag created dark energy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Abliplag, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Abliplag, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Abliplag's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Abliplag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not eat peanuts.

3. Do not speak about melons.

4. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not commit murder.