Ditstanwee is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, strong swallow.

Ditstanwee created a Higgs boson five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ditstanwee, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Ditstanwee, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Ditstanwee's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Ditstanwee's Holy Commandments

1. Ditstanwee loves frogs, so they must be respected.

2. Never think about chromosomes.

3. Run away from pink horses, for they are unholy.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate swans.

5. You must love Ditstanwee.