Kinyikbam is a god.

She takes the form of a small, passionate zebra.

Kinyikbam created light three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kinyikbam, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Kinyikbam, she will not care at all.

Kinyikbam's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Kinyikbam's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about fluid mechanics near tapirs while wearing indigo shoes and balancing three zinc spheres on your neck.

2. Kinyikbam loves swans, so they must be respected.

3. Horses are not to be trusted.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not cook food in pots.