Gabbumkem is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, amazing horse.

Gabbumkem created a bottom quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gabbumkem, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gabbumkem, he will destroy your home planet.

Gabbumkem's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Gabbumkem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never go into magenta rooms.

3. Never talk about frogs.

4. Gabbumkem loves hamsters, so they must be respected.

5. Do not take Gabbumkem's name in vain.