Witsafkam is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, thoughtless wasp.

Witsafkam created a photon two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Witsafkam, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Witsafkam, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Witsafkam's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Witsafkam's Holy Commandments

1. Learn eight new languages a year.

2. Never write about enzymes.

3. Never sing in holy places.

4. Never sit in the presence of otters.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.