Nurtorttom is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, pitiless centaur.

Nurtorttom created a top quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtorttom, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Nurtorttom, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Nurtorttom's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Nurtorttom's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate sharks.

2. Never talk about quantum gravity.

3. Run away if three frogs approach from the north.

4. You must never eat aubergines.

5. Shrews are unholy and should not be approached.