Ciplarptaf is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, slow cobra.

Ciplarptaf created everything that exists eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ciplarptaf, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ciplarptaf, she will laugh at you.

Ciplarptaf's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Ciplarptaf's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat corn.

2. You must love Ciplarptaf.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.