Haswannab Panteen is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, happy scorpion.

Haswannab Panteen created dark matter three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Haswannab Panteen, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Haswannab Panteen, it will turn you into a goat.

Haswannab Panteen's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Haswannab Panteen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate pigs.

3. Never think about gravity near cats while wearing blue shorts and balancing nine tin spheres on your feet.

4. Feed all hungry frogs.

5. Do not keep eight nematodes in a large pit.