Nurveen is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, vain mink.

Nurveen created the solar system seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurveen, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Nurveen, she will turn you into a rat.

Nurveen's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Nurveen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about enzymes.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never sing in holy places.

4. Do not speak about carrots.

5. Do not take Nurveen's name in vain.