Komwigkom is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, blissful manatee.

Komwigkom created matter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Komwigkom, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Komwigkom, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Komwigkom's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Komwigkom's Holy Commandments

1. Always help squirrels.

2. Do not skip in public.

3. You must pray to Komwigkom eight times a day.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not speak about garlic.